A few months ago, there was a post on the antifeminist sub. The post was a screenshot from an incel website that was posted on the Nothowgirlswork sub. There was a comment from nothowgirlswork which roasted the incel post.

The incel said he felt anxiety when he walked on the streets and saw women. The comment from nothowgirlswork was ridiculing him for feeling fear of women. He didn’t say anything misogynistic. There are some incels (on incel websites) who condone horrible things like raping women. This post was not like that.

It made me think that society expects men to be fearless and brave. Men are human and fear is a normal emotion that everyone has. It’s normal to feel anxiety around women, if the man has been traumatized in the past. Maybe the incel was traumatized by a woman in the past. People shouldn’t judge someone without knowing them.

The truth is women can be just as dangerous as men. Society has to stop thinking women are not as dangerous.

If a woman said she felt anxiety around men, redditors would be supporting her. They would say men are rapists and she should be scared of them. She would get all the empathy and sympathy. Reddit shows what people think secretly. Many people in society have this double standard too.

  • a-man-from-earth
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    611 months ago

    The truth is women can be just as dangerous as men.

    Yes, they can be just as dangerous, and crimes by women are often portrayed as “not as bad” or entirely swept under the carpet.

    Society has to stop thinking women are not as dangerous.

    Well, here I have to disagree. Women on average are not as dangerous. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.

    Which doesn’t mean that men should not be allowed to feel fear. But I do expect that adults would face their fears and try to control them.

    • hotpotato138OP
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      811 months ago

      Women on average are not as dangerous.

      Yes, women are less physically dangerous. I was thinking women can be dangerous in non-violent ways. For example, falsely accusing a man of rape.

  • @[email protected]
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    311 months ago

    I don’t see people in society acting as though women have no potential for violence and are not dangerous, merely that the average woman is less dangerous than the average man: a fact that is held up by statistics.

    Fear is a normal emotion though and you’re allowed to feel fear. What you’re not allowed to do is let fear become phobia. If men scare you so much you can’t go outside: see a therapist. You’re unreasonable at that point. If women scare you so much that you are afraid of even seeing them: go see a therapist. Fear has become phobia and phobias are a dysfunction.

    Anxiety and concern are normal but nobody should be supported or encouraged to feed those anxieties and fears to an unreasonable degree.

    • RandoCalrandian
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      1111 months ago

      The average women is less dangerous than the average man when you take weapons and proxy violence out of the picture

      How convenient that you do, as well.

    • ADHDisHELL
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      1011 months ago

      So why do I have only see the “therapy” suggestion on mens’ posts, while women get unending support?

      • snooggums
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        111 months ago

        Because women need support and men just need to get their shit together of course.

        It is men’s fault that they have any stress in their lives and therefore must get therapy to avoid becoming the violent monsters that they inherently are. Women are just observing reality and therefore need to be consoled.

        Note: I am blaming patriarchy and society’s double standards.

      • @[email protected]
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        111 months ago

        Confirmation bias is a helluva drug

        There are plenty of posts telling women they’re delusional and they’re imagining things. Plenty telling them to seek help. You don’t remember them because they don’t offend you.

        On my end of confirmation bias: I’ve seen plenty of men express vulnerability and get support and compassion.

        Anecdotes are not data.

        • Aesthesiaphilia
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          511 months ago

          I’ve seen plenty of men express vulnerability and get support and compassion.

          Where?

    • hotpotato138OP
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      611 months ago

      I just think it was wrong of the commenter from nothowgirlswork to ridicule that guy. I also read a statistic today which said 49% of domestic violence victims are men.

    • Pizzafeet
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      811 months ago

      “society expects men to be fearless and brave” is misandry

          • Aesthesiaphilia
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            411 months ago

            I remember this user now. They (personally) define “misandry” as a female-led counterpart to “patriarchy”. What normal people would call a “matriarchy”, which no, doesn’t exist.

            They believe misogyny and patriarchy are the same thing, and therefore misandry and matriarchy are the same thing. And matriarchy doesn’t exist therefore misandry doesn’t exist.

            They believe misandry is SOLELY an INSTITUTIONAL structure designed to keep men down, and refuse to acknowledge that individual actions by individual women happen. I even tried to corner her on “okay, what word would you use” but she sidestepped the question multiple times.

        • hotpotato138OP
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          811 months ago

          Patriarchy (unlike “misandry”) is that thing which exists.

          No patriarchy doesn’t exist.

                • a-man-from-earth
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                  1011 months ago

                  It’s a valid question. And if you insist on using terminology that is often used in a misandrist way, you better explain exactly how you view it, what your definition of it is, and what, if any, evidence there is for its existence.

                  Attempts at gaslighting us into accepting misandry are not welcome here.

                • hotpotato138OP
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                  711 months ago

                  You’ve seen the evidence, you just reject it.

                  A few men being billionaires doesn’t mean patriarchy exists like the way feminists have defined it.

        • Pizzafeet
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          711 months ago

          Expecting men to behave a certain way and shaming them for not doing so is misandry. The same way shaming women who don’t want to be housewives is misogyny.

          • a-man-from-earth
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            611 months ago

            I think that definition is too general. I definitely expect men to be honorable and keep their word, and would not feel bad for shaming them if they break it, for example.

            Your definition would lead us to have no expectations whatsoever.

            • Pizzafeet
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              411 months ago

              Of course, though I would apply those expectations on everybody. I meant expectations based on gender such as providing, protecting, etc.

          • hotpotato138OP
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            511 months ago

            Misandry is just hatred of men. It can be expressed in different ways.

            • a-man-from-earth
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              11 months ago

              No. Misandry is real. Patriarchy isn’t.

              Stop trying to gaslight us. Now let’s get back to the topic at hand.