• Ephera
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    339 months ago

    Yeah, I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist, and trans folks absolutely push that forward by unearthing the idea that gender or identity should have anything to do with what’s in your pants, yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.
    Like, when a trans lady finds her identity and has come out, they often really enjoy the lady identity, so it’ll be skirts and pink and all that jazz.

    I guess, maybe it shouldn’t matter. Maybe those aren’t necessarily gendered identities, but at some point just an identity, which you can find neat. Like, we’re giving up the male vs. female categories, but more in the sense that we’re opening up the whole rainbow, and if your identity is hot pink, that might look like the traditionally female identity, but this time around, it rather just happens to be your identity.

    Will still be interesting to see, if maybe some hot pink trans ladies will one day decide that actually this new purplish-green identity is my jam, whenever we work out what that looks like.

    • @Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      Did you know that a lot of ex-jahovas witnesses will go over the top to celebrate holidays? Most of them will even have one holiday they will pick as a favorite, and just go ALL OUT on that holiday. Holidays are considered a sin in JW society, and celebrating one is a good way to get shunned.

      The same applies to trans people. If you’ve spent your whole life identifying with a certain thing, but been denied that thing because of some arbitrary reason, you’ll almost reflexively ‘overindulge’ when you’re able to finally just enjoy what you like.

      It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation. If society just never cared, and let boys enjoy ‘girly’ things and vice versa, the situation would almost certainly be completely different. For one, they may never develop any kind of dysmorphia to begin with, but even if they do, they haven’t been denied the things they want, so there’s not the overcorrecting we sometimes see now.

    • Flying Squid
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      109 months ago

      I love that gendered toy sections in stores are totally gone. There are just categories now. There’s still usually a Barbie aisle because there’s a million barbies and an action figure aisle because there’s ten times as many action figures, but they’re not separated into girl’s toys and boy’s toys like they were when I was a kid in the 80s. There was a boy in my elementary school who had a Cabbage Patch Kid and got made fun of for playing with a girls’ toy. I hope getting rid of those barriers in stores has helped that sort of thing. My daughter didn’t really seem to get the concept of ‘this was a toy boys played with’ and ‘this was a toy girls played with’ until she started enjoying going to antique malls.

    • @Fal
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      49 months ago

      yet they also are often some of the biggest perpetrators of gendered identities.

      You’re reading too much into it. Society says that tea parties are feminine. Whether that’s inherent to gender, or entirely a social imposition doesn’t really matter. Trans people are NOT saying that if you like tea parties then you’re a girl. But if you like tea parties, wished you could wear dresses, wanted sleepovers with the other girls instead of the boys, then that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans, but it might be something to consider.

      Think about it this way. Trans people were denied the opportunity to participate in these stereotypically feminine things without feeling weird. And I don’t mean weird because people tell you it’s wrong to like that stuff. That’s definitely part of it. But it also just feels like you’re an alien. You may be participating in tea parties, and wearing dresses, etc. But even if that was totally normal, it would still feel wrong to be doing that as a boy.

      I don’t know if any of that made sense. But I think you see trans people wanting to be able to experience stereotypical femininity and misinterpret that as a desire to impose those stereotypes on others

      • @uis@lemm.ee
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        19 months ago

        Society says that tea parties are feminine.

        I’m trying to imagine how society would say to Discord the Spirit of Chaos that his tea parties with Fluttetshy are girly. And what he will do to such society

        • @Fal
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          29 months ago

          Discord the Spirit of Chaos … fluttershy

          Hey now you’re speaking my language.

          But, I mean, it’s not untrue, right? Whether it’s right, or inherent, or what, tea parties are girly. That doesn’t mean that men can’t participate at all, or that if they do it means they’re girls.

          I would also argue that discord is more interested in spending time with fluttershy rather than the tea party itself. So I’m not sure how much we should take about gender roles from that.

          • @uis@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            I would also argue that Discord is more interested in spending time with Fluttershy rather than the tea party itself.

            It’s glaringly obvious he is into Fluttershy, there is nothing to argue about.

            Whether it’s right, or inherent, or what, tea parties are girly.

            I don’t think so. I remember in kindergarden playing pretending tea party few times.

            And where I live 40 years ago(based on what older generation says) all politics was discussed on kitchens, so invite into tea party could also be invite to chat about politics.

            • @Fal
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              29 months ago

              I don’t think so. I remember in kindergarden playing pretending tea party few times.

              Not sure how this is an argument for whether tea parties are girly or not. I never said only girls do it. But in general tea parties are a girly thing. And like I posted in another comment, whether that’s 100% because of societal imposed gender norms doesn’t really matter that much since we live in that society

    • niftyOP
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      29 months ago

      I think if someone defines certain items or activities as celebrating their gender, whatever those items or activities are, I think it’s fine! I don’t think Trans folk are doing any harm by gendering things, it’s an expression of them and their gender identity.

      We don’t need to tells boys not to have tea parties because it’s girly, but if a boy or girl decides that their tea party is boyish or girly, then good for them.

    • @uis@lemm.ee
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      19 months ago

      I always found it interesting that society is in general headed for sex-(and IMHO also gender-)correlated roles ceasing to exist,

      In certain society most sex-correlated roles were sent to GULAG