• @[email protected]
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    204 months ago

    Jesus will tell you where to find midget porn, then ask if you’re ok or want to hang out.

  • @[email protected]
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    174 months ago

    The main difference being that Google actually exists and will provide you with an answer.

    • nocturne
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      104 months ago

      I have worked with several jesuses (jesuii?). They exist but were far from all knowing.

    • Flying SquidOP
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      84 months ago

      Hmm… between those two choices, maybe I should look into worshiping Satan.

      • @[email protected]
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        94 months ago

        No. No. Satan would agree with Jesus on this one and reprimand you for not listening.

        Shiva might even show up and smack you with each hand.

        Bing video search

      • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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        44 months ago

        Satan comes highly recommended. Satan gave us Rock and Roll, TTRPGs, bicycles and the notion of egalitarian government. Oh and the notion of civil rights.

        Jesus gave us Donald Trump and Brett Kavanaugh

  • @[email protected]
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    84 months ago

    Maybe he knows where I can find porn with guys masturbating using the nail hole in their hand?

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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    84 months ago

    Jesus doesn’t have all the answers. The Riemann hypothesis waits in the wings. So does a solution for peace in the Middle East and the end of the humanitarian crises in Palestine.

    Then there’s a path out of late stage capitalism, and a solution to the climate crisis and plastic crisis. Both Jesus and Google are pretty silent on both.

    As for the rise of Christian Nationalism in the US, Jesus appears to be conflicted and having a personality breakdown. Same with Google, actually.

    • @[email protected]
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      24 months ago

      TBF at least one of those has a known answer, it’s just a matter that the problem fundamentally is that those who can meaningfully influence the problem want the problem.

  • @[email protected]
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    64 months ago

    How 'bout that I’ve never gotten no response from Google, or any search engine for that matter, and that is the only result I’ve gotten from Jesus?

  • @[email protected]
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    54 months ago

    You should. Average male height of the day was 155cm (5′1ʺ). Plenty of midgets around.

    • Flying SquidOP
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      44 months ago

      If that applies to women too, I feel justified in calling my five-foot-even wife a midget. Let me know so I can tell her every time I call her a midget that the internet has spoken.

  • Diplomjodler
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    54 months ago

    But Jesus is supposed to be all-knowing. That should include midget porn, shouldn’t it?

    • @[email protected]
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      64 months ago

      No one doubts Jesus knows where all the midget porn is. We just feel less judged asking Google.

      • Flying SquidOP
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        54 months ago

        Jesus isn’t supposed to judge you unless you judge him, so you’d need to tell him where the midget porn is when he asks.