Alright, that one was pretty clever lmao
This is the one time the onion has done something even a remote shred of clever. To tie into the topic of the article, I once stoned to death my pet goldfish after he was showing signs of age and that was more clever than anything that the onion has done in their near-36 year span of creating misinformation, or anything the veterinary clinic could’ve told me to do otherwise.
You are aware that the onion is a satire piece and that they shouldn’t be taken serious?
Hey man. It looks like you have some built up angst towards The Onion or towards this topic
It’s fine if you’re just letting some emotions out, but I just want to point out that the Onion is not trying to inform anyone. How can they spread misinformation if every article is clearly satire?
You may find it to be a terrible joke but I don’t get why this has caused you this much stress
Would you care to elaborate?
I wish I had the patience to go and post this in reply to every tankie I’ve seen today defending the “honour” of this piece of shit in the name of Iranians who they’ve convinced themselves they can speak for (yet somehow never speak up for their best interests, only in defence of their “great leaders” interests, curious… 🤔🙄).
Yeah, western tankies especially can be very weird. Meanwhile, the actual communist party of Iran has nothing good to say about him.
Quote:
The only regret of the people of Iran and the families of the survivors of the horrific crimes committed by the mercenaries of reaction and tyranny, over the death of Ebrahim Raisi, is that the opportunity for his historic trial in the not-too-distant future has been lost.
western tankies especially can be very weird
Right, and they call anyone who disagrees with them, even actual communists, “McCarthyists” 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Seriously though, anyone who sees any reason whatsoever for communists to support the Iranian government mustn’t have a single fucking clue what communism is about… They’re a fucking joke (if only they didn’t go around giving leftists such a bad name)…
That’s a fantastic, and not at all surprising piece of information though, thanks for sharing!
It should be noted that the Tudeh party has it’s HQ in Europe, hence them being all Bertie Big Bollocks about this news. They are banned in Iran.
The communists also helped overthrow the CIA puppet regime in the first place, which seems to have helped them not one jot.
Damn, based.
Tankies are people who claim to be communists, but who exclusively support authoritarians and their oppressive regimes, past and present, because these authoritarians call themselves communists (think believing Nazis were socialists because it was in their party name), even though their actions have nothing at all to do with communism, and fascists co-opting leftist language to gain power being a well documented phenomenon.
It’s pretty easy to tell really: if a project is/was stateless, classless, and moneyless - congratulations, it’s almost certainly communism, and those who support it are communists (or possibly one of several varieties of anarchist, like myself).
However if one or any of those conditions aren’t met, and/or there is a single dictator or a small group of cronies holding on to power claiming they’ve been met, but the reality is clearly different - congratulations, you basically have run of the mill fascism on your hands and those who support it are tankies (who, as I pointed out in OP, almost always speak up and in defence of a “dear leader” but never in defence of the people themselves, because all they care about is the regime, not the people living under it).
In the case of the fediverse, there are a couple of dedicated instances almost exclusively occupied by tankies, who have made it their goal to essentially troll and brigade anyone who doesn’t agree with their, frankly bizarre, views (calling it “dialectics” to make themselves feel better). They’re generally easy to avoid though, by blocking individuals, or their entire instance.
No problem, glad I could help.
Just to add, pelespirit is more or less right about the origin of the word, you can read more on the wiki
So would someone who thinks North Korea is a democracy because it’s in the name, “Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea” be a Tankie?
To my understanding this means historically a western communist who supported the USSR’s interventions (with tanks, hence the name) in Eastern European countries (Hungary, Czechoslovakia, maybe also East Germany) when the Warsaw Pact was a thing. More broadly someone who thinks the Soviet Union was a good regime.
From what I’ve been told, it originally was communist countries that use tanks against their people (like Tienanmen Square). It’s getting muddled by the countries that use tanks against their people, so I don’t know what it has become.
I’m so glad I don’t really see them much anymore
Let he who is without sin throw the first helicopter.
I remember the Taliban bitching that all the materiel (helicopters, humvees, etc) the US left behind at the airport had had grenades detonated in their engine compartments
It’s really more of a buffer overflow situation at this point.
Fucking legendary.
They’ve been going pretty hard lately, it’s great
Removed by mod
The new ownership group is Global Tetrahedron. According to their website, they were “born of the shadows, and are committed to control in all its forms.” They’ve also donated “300,000 guns to underprivileged communities”.
My understanding is that the name itself is from older onion articles where when they needed an evil corporation name that is what they used. So they are indeed super fans.
Threw the whole fucking planet at him, he musta done something to deserve it! :P
Karma is a bitch.
Karma is fiction
I saw the crash site in an aerial photograph and it looks like a big scorch mark. As if the devil reached a burning hand up out of the ground to personally invite them all down to their final destination.
Really, no links?
His devil is everyone elses god.
Actually, Iranian courts put a moratorium on stoning to death over 20 years ago, and the practice is still legal in American-allied Saudi Arabia.
Yes indeed, what about the US.
And the blinding, amputations and hanging?
Fairly positive they’re also legal in Saudi Arabia
Some background/ other info
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1252418856/iran-interim-president-mohammad-mokhber
Fkn lol
Will the zealots and their goons consider this a message from Allah, that their ways might be wrong?
Nah!When Muhammad didn’t go to the mountain…
F
[X]
Wait, weed is legal in Iran? Also I thought the lethal dose was too high for human consumption. A new record for us stoners I guess.