• @a_fancy_kiwi@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    This just in, Google will he deprecating their phone app fart button in 18 months for the new and improved Android Poots button.

    Wait, we’re just now getting word that in 7 more months, Android Poots will be replaced with Google Toots. All 3 buttons will be active at the same time while Google works on feature parity.

    You’ll never believe this, insiders are telling us that 4 months after Google Toots, Google will be introducing Google Farts to replace Google Toots. Google Farts will be different than the original Fart button, not sure how but we are expecting it’ll be a worse experience.

    And finally, 6 months later, after hundreds of millions of dollars spent, somehow none on marketing, and after generating a healthy user base that defied all odds, Google will begin to shutdown all 4 buttons and lay off all the teams that worked on them.

    • @CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      Well, the newer Farts button will have integrated AI to dynamically choose the proper fart for the situation, and requires a subscription. The legacy Fart app can still be sideloaded but it’s missing the textures and subtly of the wet farts from Toots so it’s really not worth it… I’m still upset they haven’t ported the Google Home integration from Poots it was one of the best parts.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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        47 months ago

        To support the fart choice AI your microphone will now be active 100% of the time and detailed logs of your life will be kept in your non personally identifiable account (which just so happens to also have your name, phone number, address, and physical location attached to it, but there’s an ID number too, so we say it’s non personally identifiable).

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      67 months ago

      6 months and 1 day later, all phones with the built in fart button are no longer supported. Disabling the button won’t help. Your hardware is a brick.

  • @foggy@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Deadass laid off like 20,000 employees over 3 years while they retained the FART BUTTON team.

  • @wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world
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    127 months ago

    $2.99 for triggering one remote fart of another user’s device. 4 pack for $9.99. Google One, YT Premium, and Fi users get 5 farts free per month (best value).

    • @kevincox@lemmy.ml
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      47 months ago

      To be fair this may be one of the most significant feature for a major phone OS in a few years. At least they are trying something.

  • @sik0fewl@lemmy.ca
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    97 months ago

    It would be better than the Samsung Bixby button. At least I would be amused when I accidentally press it instead of annoyed.

    • @woelkchen@lemmy.worldOP
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      127 months ago

      There is no Bixby button any longer. There is a configurable side button. On my S22 it’s set to act as power button.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      87 months ago

      The Bixby button was okay when you remapped it to something useful, but Samsung kept going out of their way to break the remapping tools. Heaven forbid people use their phones they way they want to.

    • @a_fancy_kiwi@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I know you didn’t ask but just in case you (or anyone reading this) don’t know about it; Good Lock from the Samsung store. Once downloaded, you can create a routine in the settings app to reconfigure the bixby/power button to do whatever you want