• Sunshine (she/her)
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    11215 days ago

    Ask them to explain the “joke” then once they finish say I didn’t find the joke funny.

    • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      14 days ago

      If you’re especially non-confrontational, then even the first one, or 0 reaction, can do. Just don’t do the polite chuckle. They’ll think it landed.

      I have to work really hard not to laugh myself, and instead let it be awkward.

    • @givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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      4915 days ago

      It’s all about where you live and what you look like.

      I’m a huge white dude in a red state, I’ve been getting hit on by nazis since before I was a teenager because I look like their “ideal”.

      Like, when they picture their “master race” it’s what I look like, so they always fucking assume I’ll agree with any side comment they make.

      If you’re not in a super blue area, you’re not hearing stuff because something identifies you as “them” and not “us”. But even in blue areas I’ll hear shit.

      • @idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        2915 days ago

        I’m a white American immigrant in Germany. The shit people say to me about immigrants, which they then walk back with “but not you, you’re one of the good ones,” is infuriating.

    • Flying Squid
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      1115 days ago

      Sadly, they often disagree. The whole basis of bigotry is the idea that I’m human and you’re less than.

      • @Zorque@lemmy.world
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        2115 days ago

        Being human doesn’t make you good. Plenty of humans are monsters. They’re not some eldritch evil that simply started existing hating, they chose this.

        That makes them worse, of course… but still very very human.

      • Dragon Rider (drag)
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        -115 days ago

        In drag’s experience, calling someone a human is a tremendously vicious insult if you have cool enough friends.

  • callyral [he/they]
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    14 days ago

    You don’t need to be cisgender, heterosexual, male or white to call people out on their bigoted beliefs.

    Edit: if you are in those categories you’re more likely to be taken more seriously by other cishet white men. I think I understand the point of the original post now.

    • @Dasus@lemmy.world
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      2515 days ago

      No, but bigoted, cisgendered, heterosexual white men are probably more likely to listen to other cisgendered heterosexual white men due to their bigotry.

      Someone disagreeing within Chad Junior’s very narrow social circle will mean more to him than someone outside of the circle, especially if that person is also unlike Chad Junior in several ways. Unfortunate as it is.

      • @Ohmmy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1114 days ago

        In my experience that is almost never the case. They’ll just call you a liberal soyboy or something and never think on it further.

    • JaggedRobotPubes
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      1414 days ago

      Definitely. It’s just an amplifier. Imagine a protestor saying “too many cops are violent and need to cool it”, as opposed to a cop saying “too many cops are violent and need to cool it”

      • @captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        714 days ago

        Exactly. Also some of us have learned to fear pushing back against cishet men who are being aggressive. As a trans lesbian I’m not going to improve the situation with confrontation, I’ll just get shouted at, called a snowflake, or otherwise dismissed. But when say, my girlfriend’s husband, a very large extremely masculine cishet guy challenges it, it may not always go well, but it’s perceived as peer disapproval as opposed to “triggering the enemy”.

  • @electric_nan@lemmy.ml
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    3015 days ago

    These comments, yeesh. I am a cis white dude, and I don’t see how this post is offensive. As I’ve gotten older and more self-confident, I absolutely call people out for their garbage opinions/statements. Being a cis/straight/white dude it happens all the time that somebody says something racist/sexist/homophobic in front of me assuming I’ll be sympathetic. I’ve used all these “scripts” and encourage you all to use them also.

    • @captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      514 days ago

      Yeah I’m not cis, het, or a dude, but I do this stuff when people assume I’ll join in racism. I’ll challenge that shit and attempt to help lead them to the truth

      • @Ziglin@lemmy.world
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        114 days ago

        If I know I’ll have to talk to them again soon I’ll just awkwardly look away, hoping they figure it out themselves but other than that I try to be the exact same.

      • Flying Squid
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        215 days ago

        I had a Mexican friend back in college and we used to joke that if you put El in front of something, it became Spanish.

        So he’d say something like, “Hey, do you want to get el pizza tonight?”

        And I’d say, “Sorry, I don’t speak Spanish.”

        (Although normally we’d do it as an inside joke when someone couldn’t understand him because of his accent.)

    • Track_ShovelOP
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      1315 days ago

      My ‘hey, you’re being a fuck stick’ detector doesn’t discriminate, despite what my stolen meme says

      • @psvrh@lemmy.ca
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        2215 days ago

        Middle-aged white men have a lot of privilege. It’s time we used it for good.

        Is this white-saviour and/or patriarchial? Yup. Does it work? Also yup.

        I don’t know if we all realize this, but some shitlord being told “What the fuck is wrong you?!” cuts deeper when it comes from someone who looks like their dad, granddad, or their boss.

        I’m a 47-year old white guy in a leadership position in a large company. I’ve done exactly this to both young-millenial edgelord types who think I’m in on the joke, and boomer or elder-Xers who are yelling at clouds. I will tell you that, not only does it smack down the dipshit who thought that “lol rape” or “brown people bad” was funny, it also sets the tone for everyone else in the room, and it gets word around that bigotry isn’t acceptable.

        Anyone can say this, but it hits harder when it’s someone privileged. Women, LGBTQ folk and other vulnerable groups don’t have this privilege, and get shut down, and if we don’t want that to be the case, we need to speak up for them.

        • Track_ShovelOP
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          1615 days ago

          Fuck yes. This is the entire point of the post. This is not my meme, but some turds are focusing in on ‘buh only WhItE mEn?!’. No. Not just white men. White women and children too, anikan. Anybody really.

          You raise a very good point about our white male privilege and the lack of ‘stopping power’ less privileged groups have when challenging bigotry.

        • @AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world
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          615 days ago

          All of this also applies to women saying horrible things being called out by other women who they respect / think are part of their social group.

      • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝
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        15 days ago

        It’s only bigotry if it’s cishetwhitemen doing it, otherwise it’s just sparkling discrimination.

        I’m not in the trenches of this particular culture war, so I don’t know shit, but I really do wonder why not phrase it as “people who want to be better allies” instead of targeting a single racial group and sexual orientation. Would feel more inclusive.

        • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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          615 days ago

          I think you got it. The op was probably fixating on the biggest impact that they can see, but that’s going to vary by community and who is reading this.

          Also huge shocker, diverse groups of people also need to be mindful of this shit.

          It’s the reason good “DEI” policies are important. If you just start hiring people from more diverse backgrounds (good) then have them land in a toxic work environment with 0 support (bad) then they’re not likely to thrive.

  • JaggedRobotPubes
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    2714 days ago

    “I won’t let you talk to them that way” is a bad one that doesn’t belong on this list. It implies you’re in control of them, which you’re not. It’s essentially a bluff, and if they call it, you need to be able to beat them up.

    To add more good phrases to this list, the phrases need to imply that the person still has their own agency (because they do), and that it’s just a dipshit way to use that agency. The other phrases are great.

  • kindenough
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    2415 days ago

    Pfff. Everytime my father in law goes on a racist diatribe I tell him, “Mustafa is what now?”. He is my Egyptian brother in law and the kindest and hospitable person I know.

    I also very dislike my father in law, used to be a somewhat good guy, then he got old and racist.