• @[email protected]
    19•4 hours ago

    There is a Christian bedtime story where I’m from. In the end it says something like “and you’ll wake up in the morning if god wants you to”. wtf what if god doesn’t want me to wake up tomorrow.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️English
    56•7 hours ago

    Christian God doesn’t even come down to earth in the form of an animal to get you pregnant. You just wake up one morning with a bun in the oven. Dude should at least make it fun. Zeus and Posieden knew how to have a good time.

    • @[email protected]
      20•4 hours ago

      Zeus doesn’t even discriminate based on gender. He saw Ganymede, a cute mortal twink herder, and brought him to mt Olympus to be his femboy cup-bearer. Tried for ages to get him pregnant, but with no such luck.

  • @[email protected]
    46•8 hours ago

    Huh…I spent so much of my life concentrated on the fact that Mary was a lying slut who absolutely had sex with someone. Thus making Jesus not only NOT God’s child, but also by definition a bastard…that I never thought about the story from the perspective of it being true. If you take the story at face value, and God impregnated Mary in her sleep? That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.

    • @[email protected]
      6•3 hours ago

      In school I tried to bring up this theory that the three wise men all thought they were the father and came bearing gifts for that reason and mary was either lying or totally clueless/tricked. It wasn’t well received but nobody was able to refute it with relevant bile quotes or anything.

    • @[email protected]English
      1•3 hours ago

      That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.

      If we take the story at face value, he did get consent.

      And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”

      • Luke 1:38
    • @[email protected]
      14•6 hours ago

      Actually an angel appeared and told Mary she was chosen. She said “aight bet.” So, technically consent.

    • @[email protected]
      12•6 hours ago

      Jesus was a bastard who was BFFs with a prozzie, did violence against the wealthy, and spurned authority. God might not listen to Slayer, but I reckon Jesus would have

    • @[email protected]
      19•7 hours ago

      Yep. Pretty fucked no matter which way you look at it…

      Has anyone informed you of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer?

  • @[email protected]
    14•7 hours ago

    Considering Mary seems to be around 12-13 from the literature we have? You’ll age out of it, I guess? Cold comfort…

    • Kairos
      4•7 hours ago

      Wait WHAT?? Bruh what is going on with Christianity?

      • @[email protected]
        2•1 hour ago

        Muhammed had a 9yo wife (but it’s “totally cool” because he didn’t fuck her until she was 11, I’m assured…), it’s not just Christianity.

        Also iirc people had babies about once a year starting around 14 until they died at 30 of any number of causes, and that’s if they made it past infancy since the infant mortality rate was so high, which was also why people had like 20 kids. Frankly it’s relatively recently that the standards we know today were put in place, and I’m happy for the strides we’ve made but there’s still room for improvement, but this type of shit happened by all religions for most of recorded history and probably before that until like, 19xx.

  • @[email protected]
    4•7 hours ago

    I honestly think that if a personal, knowable, and forgiving god exists as the god-botherers say they believe in, then he/she would get down with some Slayer and chuckle at the irony of listening to such music.

    Why can’t a god have a sense of humor?

  • @[email protected]
    -6•4 hours ago

    I like this comic but there’s one thing I can’t get past - why can’t this person draw noses???