It’s been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.

What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?

  • I like the idea of dating apps, but I don’t like the implementation or at least how they end up being used where the focus is entirely on visual attraction. I don’t particularly think or care about looks; I’m attracted to personality. Most people have blank profiles and just a lot of pictures, so I either have to decide to not like a majority of profiles or like everything just to maybe get a chance to talk to someone.

    And it doesn’t help having BPD and not really having a solid identity to tell people who I am in a single block of limited characters. So when nobody even communicates when you actually match, it just makes the whole thing seem pointless and stupid.

    • @whyrat@lemmy.world
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      21 month ago

      I met my wife through eHarmony. I tried the other apps available at the time (mid 2000s) and most were “profile pic & swipe” level of depth. eHarmony had a fee (so both parties were at least a little more committed to finding a partner, rather than “sign up for free account while drinking one night”). Also it had maybe 100(?) questions you had to fill out before it’d give you any matches… basically a quasi personality profile about what you were like and what you were looking for in a relationship. The result was fewer matches, but all the dates I went on were meaningful (eventually leading to ~15 years of marriage & 2 kids).

      There’s now additional dating sites beyond just eHarmony that have this barrier to entry which seems similar (although I don’t have personal experience with those).

      • Kinda depends on their gender, in my experience. Guys without a profile and pics of just themselves not really doing much are usually just looking for a hookup. The girls without a profile are usually what is generally accepted as highly attractive and probably don’t even care because everyone will like them.

        I have yet to actually have someone talk to me on any of these apps beyond saying hello or asking how my day is. I had better luck actually finding people to talk to, get to know, then set up a date through Craigslist back when it had a personals section.