Transcription

Tumblr post by arctic-hands:

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll “Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?”. Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly “Borg Cube”, but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said “Death Star”.

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

Reply from evilsoup:

An image depicting the story of the “Judgment of Solomon”, where Solomon is labelled “stargate fandom”, and the two women are labelled “star trek fandom” and “star wars fandom”. The Star Wars lady is standing grumpily with her hands on her hips, while the Star Trek woman gestures with open arms. Between the two of them, on the floor, is a baby in a wicker basket. Solomon sits over them in judgment.

    • @[email protected]English
      3•7 months ago

      no, the real reason is scanners, trek ships would know the entire layout of the enemy including any weak points in seconds and blasting them in short order with its phasers/disruptors, meanwhile SW still aims ship guns like it’s 1940 on the USS Colorado (BB-45).

      Imagine this: the death star, slowly maneuvering around to get a firing angle on the strange “federation”(some strange new rebel group that the empire has been encountering lately) outpost situated on some moon, when suddenly a cruiser sized ship drops out of hyperspace way closer than the mass of the death star should have allowed, yet still outside the death starts turret range (how could they know?), when suddenly it shoots a “particle lance” that is able to dig a hole into your entire 3km thick armor in minutes (while 3km of steel is nice and all, a phaser can dig through a 15km asteroid in like 30seconds) and then drops what you can only guess as some sort of space torpedo into the hole, that then blows up inside the death star with an explosive yield that would wipe out an entire city in seconds, most likely directly on top of the reactor core, giving us a big boom.

    • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️English
      3•7 months ago

      The transporters thing always infuriated me, even as a kid. You can’t beam through shields, right? So, in Star Trek battles when the enemy’s shields go down it’s always, “Let’s teleport our guys in and have a pitched hallway battle with pew-pew guns, damaging random stuff and losing many of our own dudes,” and not, “Start transporting the enemy’s pilots and gunners into space, so we can just park someone in the driver’s seat afterwards and fly away with their ship.”

      The main problem you’ll encounter in a Star Trek vs. Whoever matchup is not the technology and power levels between the combatants, it’s that everyone from the Star Trek universe is fucking stupid, both our Federation people and all the various chaotic evil bad guy alien races. Even the Borg.

    • rutellthesinful
      1•7 months ago

      Without technology prepared to counter teleporters

      like the shields all the ships in starwars have?