I have a friend like that. He’ll invite me out for a coffee date “my treat” he says, then at the end when I thank him for the treat he’ll be like “no problem, now I only owe you 5.35.” He’ll pull the same kind of thing when I owe him.

It’s like, bud, you think I’m keeping track of these pennies?? We’ve known each other before we had body hair. I love this man, he’s my best friend, and he’s got this involuntary ledger going rofl.

Some people just can’t switch it off. It’s exhausting. Just let it flow back and forth, you know?