• I remember the first night at my first job site as a security guard. I was at a warehouse for a chain store that hadn’t even begun operation yet while they finished up construction. I am posted by the rear “roll up door” because it’s just an opening with no door yet, and a fuckin’ pick up truck starts coming up the dirt (nothing was paved but the building foundation yet) hauls ass inside through it and parks outside the doors into the offices, which had the only stuff of value in the building.

    I got on the radio as soon as I saw the truck and was like “wtf do I do?” And was told to “stop them.” Ok. How the fuck do I stop a truck? I had to sprint all the way to the other end of the building, yelling the whole time asking who he was and what he was doing. Asshole ignored me and goes into the offices. We guards don’t even have access to the offices, which were locked with keycards.

    Supervisor finally gets there and chews me out for not stopping him, dude comes out in the middle and again tries to ignore everyone until the super got in his face and physically stopped him. Turned out he was one of the owners, and didn’t think he had to inform anyone he was going to be down there at 2 in the morning for something, and he was too high up on the food chain to speak to a lowly security guard. 🙄

    I only stayed at that site another 2 weeks before I begged for a new position because the management at the store was big time ass and kept trying to micromanage us, despite being a 3rd party contractor and half the shit they requested was illegal. Among generally treating us like we weren’t human beings.

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      241 year ago

      I’ve also got a fun one like that from working security!

      I was working the solo overnight shift during Christmas break at a factory & noticed a gift-wrapped cylinder sitting in one of the common areas. I picked it up to bring to the lost and found & decided to see if there was a name tag or something. Well, there wasn’t a nametag, but there were a few wires poking out that made me realize I was possibly holding a pipe-bomb.

      I called 911 while freaking the fuck out and was told to stay calm and very still while they sent someone to save my sorry ass. After about 30 minutes the Michelin Man’s blue cousin strides in, asks me a few questions, & decides it would be safe enough to take the Christmas gift from hell outside to deal with.

      While the bomb was being taken care of I took a few cops to the security room to download all of the footage from the past few days. Turns out the gift-wrapped grenade was juuuust out of the cameras view & there was no way to tell exactly when it had been left there.