- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
Summary
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.
I have an alternate theory about those claw marks…
Even Fido has had enough of his shit
Hopefully Fucker gets rabies
https://theonion.com/piss-soaked-tucker-carlson-claims-demon-urinated-on-him-while-he-slept/ ?
I watched that video, and had he just stuck to being suddenly awake and having claw marks I would have thought there was something odd. But he led with having four dogs in the bed, so when he said he had claw marks…dear lord, he’s either trying too hard to play to some niche audience, or he’s really that stupid. At least make the story sound plausible…we know you can lie, why didn’t you just leave off some details here to sell it better.
Ever since he got kicked off Fox, he’s been making the pivot to the hard right audience, which includes the narrative that they’re in a spiritual war against the literal devil.
It’s the same conspiracy-laden bullshit that Alex Jones pushes.
It’s Jon Stewart’s fault. Tucker never recovered from that jab about the bow tie.
And he never wore a bow tie after that. Lol.
If anything, Tucker needs another sit-down with Jon
He’s been holding a towel on his rear-end ever since.
And we got Trump cause Obama roasted him so hard he was afraid no one would think he was white anymore.
Maybe ridiculing fascists isn’t the best way to treat them.
You’re correct, actually.
Yeah, I don’t know when “Trump ran for president because he was so thoroughly emasculated by Obama” and “You can’t shame the shameless out of fascism” became such hot takes.
You can shame them, just not for anything they should feel shamed about. Jabs about very facile facets of their masculinity? shamed. Dragged through the ringer because they are rapists? No shame.
Ridiculing Fascists is the best way to treat them. They’re fragile little snowflakes and can not handle being the butt of the joke. Why do you think aside from journalists and politicians, comedians also get censored or imprisoned first when fascists take over?
So the problem with Trump is that he’s not being ridiculed enough? The orange-skinned, diaper wearing, wispy-pube-haired, tiny hands, mushroom dick, broke-ass billionaire wanna-be, so cheap he won’t even bother to have his suits tailored, neck-gina, “dumbest goddamn student I ever had”, can’t drink water, nuke hurricanes, salutes North Korean generals, paper towel throwing, bleach-drinking, UV light up the asshole, bigliest, yugliest, covfefe bunker bitch will go away if we just make fun of him?
If you think you can stop the fascist by calling him Mango Mussolini or Agolf Shitler more, fucking go for it. Comedians get imprisoned by fascists because they hurt their feelings- but that doesn’t stop fascism, or else they wouldn’t have ended up in prison.
And he’s been Orange ever since.
The dude used to wear a bow tie, unironically, and in public no less, so…
Bowties are cool.
The bowtie wasn’t the problem.
It’s the person that makes it uncool.
I’d argue that the fact that he stopped wearing the bowties when he was mocked for it says more about him than the bowties do.
I’ve been rocking a bowtie for a while, and my wife loves it. Maybe it’s that his were clipons.
It absolutely does. Jon knew it would have to be something low to get under his skin and he was right.
I bet it’s deliberate. Like a power play knowing his story is clearly bullshit but the morons he’s appealing to are believing it making him feel even more superior.
Occam’s Razor? Naw, it’s gotta be Occam’s Jewish Space Laser.
Yeah, i imagine his wife is pretty vicious.
Yeah, if I were married to Tucker Carlson I’d be pretty messed up too.
Heyo
Is it Tucker Carlson has hell hounds for pets?
We know his wife didn’t leave them in the throes of passion, that’s for sure
But a mistress that he’s trying to cover up? That’s plausible.
He brought the Bible into it so I’m betting it was a misteress.
No man! It was a succubus!
A dominatrix is also plausible
Dude, even small dogs can hog some serious space. 4 dogs? I’m surprised there’s any room left for the fucker and his wife. He probably got scratches falling out of bed.
Holy shit I did not think the alt right could get any fucking dumber.
“I went to bed and woke up next to this unconscious woman… I was in my bed with the wife and dogs at the time, so she must’ve been a demon.”
I do too. Paranoid delusions
His boyfriend choked him out too hard? I’m bad at inferences.