John Malkovich’s voice and spectacular cadence in your head:

  • “It is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact.
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    29 months ago

    You can’t know his position. If you were to observe Santa then the quantum superposition waveform would collapse and only one house would get presents.